Quotes About Men Quotes

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QUOTES ABOUT MEN

FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT MEN

  • When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.  Sacha Guitry

  • Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

  • A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. – Woodrow Wyatt

  • Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.

  • Man has will, but woman has her way. – Oliver Wendell Holmes

  • Men. The one thing that duct tape can’t fix.

  • A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. – Brendan Francis

  • The older theory was, marry an older man because they’re more mature. But the new theory is men don’t mature. Marry a younger one. – Rita Rudner

  • I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

  • Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands. – Anonymous

  • Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. – Helen Rowland

  • The first time you buy a house you think how pretty it is and sign the check. The second time you look to see if the basement has termites. It’s the same with men. – Lupe Velez

  • Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract. – Kathy Lette

  • A man in love is like a clipped coupon – it’s time to cash in. Mae West

  • There are two perfectly good men, one dead and the other unborn.  Chinese Proverb

  • The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

  • No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

  • Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious; both are disappointed. –  Oscar Wilde

  • A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor

  • What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? ‘Hold my purse’. – Unknown

  • Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time – they’re gone. – Lenny Bruce

  • Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. – Helen Rowland

  • The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. – Jilly Cooper

  • Men should be like Kleenex; soft, strong and disposable.

  • A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one. – Mae West

  • Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

  • There are easier things in life than trying to find a nice guy, like nailing a jelly to a tree for example.

  • Men are like a deck of cards. You’ll find the occasional king, but most are jacks. – Laura Swenson

  • Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.

  • It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. – Helen Rowland

  • The older theory was, marry an older man because they’re more mature. But the new theory is men don’t mature. Marry a younger one. – Rita Rudner

  • Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good ones are either taken or they’ve had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon.

  • There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast. – Helen Rowland

  • A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.

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